Each day passes and I'm slowly watching this little space become filled with words, ideas, and inspirations. What started out as a little spark inside my heart has slowly began forming itself into something tangible...sort of. It sits here each night in silence, patiently waiting for me to fill its pages. I still haven't displayed it to any other person other than my husband. I'm not entirely sure why but maybe it's because I'm still trying to find my voice, my personal style, the primary reason for its being. Before starting this journey, I probably had five different things I wanted it to reveal on a weekly basis. Ideas filtered my mind like there was raindrops and sunshine all at once. From healing and wellness to design and photos, from yoga and weight loss to gathering ideas about how on earth I could turn it into an actual photography business. All of this and more consistently escaped my fingers onto the blank screen in front of me, which reluctantly turned into my pinky finger starting on fire, magically making every single letter disappear. I felt like I needed them all yet I truly had no idea where to start.
As I was sitting in my favorite place this past Sunday, I was surrounded with musical prayers. I held the hand of my husband on the left side of me, his father's on my right. I listened to a man speak about our lives and how our idea of 'needs' possibly changes over time. When did our desires turn into material things? When did happiness start being dependent on the number in our bank accounts? When did something you absolutely love turn into a chore? I promised myself that I would never let this blog become a chore, I cherish it too much for that. What I did learn on Sunday, however, is that maybe 'needing' all of those items for this place isn't actually the case. Whether I write about wellness or I write about starting a business, these pages will remain sacred to me. Just as I believe that everyone deserves a place in their life where they don't 'need' anything. There is no expectations other than spilling out exactly what is in your heart in that very moment, whether that be words, a hobby, building relationships, or even just letting your heart rescue itself in silence.
I learned something on Sunday. As I continue to build these pages, find my voice, and escape into the canvas in front of me, I will also allow myself time and little moments where there will be no searching. I believe that it is in these moments where I will find a purpose. I encourage you to clear your mind today. Empty your soul so that God can refill it with the things in your life that you do need. Not your wants, desires, expectations. Nothing brand new. Let it be filled with all of the love in your life that already exists. I promise you that this is when you're purpose will unfold.
Let your hair down, wiggle your toes, and feel everything around you that is real.