BE YOU.

Hello and happy Monday.  I'm going to be completely honest with you right now and confess that my life has not been comfortable in some areas lately.  I will spare you the details but you will just have to trust me.  I haven't blogged in over a week.  I haven't sharpened my favorite pencil either which means the remaining pages of my dark leather journal stay blank.  Personally, I have found myself begging to make changes yet my physical self doesn't feel comfortable enough to do so.  Oh, comfort.  A word that my mind and my heart often get caught between.  To be comfortable is a nice feeling but I strongly believe that it isn't something that we should exclusively strive for.  Some of it is good, the best actually.  For example, rainy days and scented candles and forehead kisses from my husband are comfortable and this, well, is something I would never want to change.  Feeling discomfort in some other areas of our lives, however, can be a really good thing.  What are your wildest dreams?   If you're like me and you find yourself secretly thirsting for more out of your days, asking yourself if what you are doing is bettering you and the people you love, and if the decisions you are making are always the comfortable ones, I believe we've got some reevaluating to do. Since I just wrote a whole paragraph on being comfortable and uncomfortable and not having any idea where my heart truly lies on this matter here tonight, let's chat about some ways we can change all of this.  I think the most positive thing a person can do for themselves is to fall in love with their own life.  The good, the bad, all of it and all at once.  I learn a lot about this world simply by focusing on my own experiences.  How crooked smiles and those with dimples can go a really long way.  How one thousand thank yous passed between mothers and daughters and husbands and friends makes every listener extremely humble.  How hearing the right words at the right time will allow you to make changes openly in your own life.  How resting and reflecting and allowing your mind to ease can make you feel so incredibly alive.  And how embracing the most difficult of moments will coincidentally make you fall madly and wonderfully in love with not just your life, but the person you are becoming.

As I list all of these beautiful things I'm able to witness each day, it is hard for me to accept that I haven't been comfortable lately.  As with all beginnings, this Monday represents an opportunity to make a promise to myself like I've never done before.  I vow to fill this week to the brim of small and comfortable moments.  I also vow to find discomfort.  To be different, to seek change, and to reinforce the amazing uncertainties that life can bring.

I am transitioning slowly from the person I once was to the person I am now.  There is anxiousness in my heart, tears on my sleeve, and I believe it is probably because I'm finally making a connection with who that girl really is.  I feel a lovely jumbled mess of complete sadness and pure gratefulness all at once because after 25 years and this scary scary week,  I am completely comfortable with her.

And since I'm feeling rather content with the girl I'm beginning to know more and more about, Beretta is feeling comfortable enough to share her new obsession of wearing our curtains as a headdress. Be bold. Be different. Be you.