change.

There has been a couple of changes to the blog.  It is definitely a work in progress and I'm still working out the kinks but for now this is where I'll be.  Soon I will understand my new design software and the technicality of things will calm down and I can just write again.  Soon, very soon. Change.  I've realized in the last year of my life that no matter how much I change or how much things change,  I am still telling a story of who I am.  Sometimes I find myself getting caught looking for the person I was many years ago.  The high school girl in a very confusing world.  The college girl in an even more confusing world.  And even to one year ago when I really thought my life was perfect but it wasn't even close.  Constant changes in our life often make us search for answers in our past that no longer exist.  I will not find answers on how to be the perfect mother in my high school yearbook.  I will not discover the secret to the perfect marriage in my college friendships.  I can, however, take these experiences and let them be a part of me.  Wherever you were ten years ago WILL NEVER be where you are today.  So the person  you were ten years ago doesn't have to reflect who you are today either.  It is you, of course, just an older, wiser, and stronger version of you.  I think that sometimes we forget that making changes can so positively impact our lives.

I dare you to write out on a sheet of paper one way your life has changed from 10 years ago, five years ago, one year ago, one month ago, and even one day ago.  I can almost guarantee you that the things you list have played an important piece in your puzzle, but I also bet that they don't make that puzzle complete.  This is because you are alive!  And when we're living and breathing and taking in real moments there is constantly going to be changes that occur.  Piece by piece your little jigsaw becomes an actual masterpiece and things start to make sense because you've accepted that change and that life's circumstances are really okay.

It's almost as if I keep waiting to get tired of life and then something happens.  Something bigger than I ever thought imaginable.  Maybe that's what's supposed to happen.  Maybe there is love and laughter and sadness and inspiration so that some consistency can remain in a world of giant change.

So in spite of all of these changes I hope you can find clarity in this wild world.  Remember that they do not define you.  Changing doesn't make you better or worse, it just is.  And this is the piece of my puzzle that I discovered today and it feels so good.  So if your pretty and ever changing self will excuse me I'm going to go love this part of my life and also cherish the part that will forever be constant.