I surrounded myself with water and sky. I'm starting to believe that being centered between these two colossal fragments of the earth is where my heart rests perfectly. The lake was busy and waves created motion in my body that resembled exactly what my mind was feeling. We were surrounded by million dollar homes and water crafts yet somewhere between the blue sky above me and the green below I was able to completely surrender myself to the richness of the world. Out here, I am happy. I paused for a moment. I watched my husband slowly change his lures and smile back at me. I imagined the day we might own a multimillion dollar lakeshore home and laughed out loud when I remembered that a sixteen year old boat can be just as good, blown motor and all. Our chicken salad sandwiches were part soggy and part delicious and I smiled again when I looked up and saw an endless blue sky fade into night.
We're all just one mansion and five pounds away from happiness right? I think we should think again. I'll be honest and tell you that I've never been the greatest at saving my money. I shop on the clearance rack and buy fruit that's on sale and it is things like this that make me believe I'm being financially 'savvy.' I was, however, for a very long time good at counting my calories and logging my workouts and making sure that I never went above a certain number on the scale. And then all of a sudden one day, I just got tired. I realized that never buying the honey crisp apples that I wanted and letting the scale determine my happiness for that day was down right exhausting. I wrote list after list and I lived by them because I had an idea in my head that they would, in one way or another, bring me freedom. I would love myself a certain amount because of the way my clothes fit and knowing I had a paycheck on its way and I just couldn't do it anymore.
Why do we take the most basic things in life like money, exercise, and kindness and use them to hold ourselves to a standard of perfection? We decide to let go of all of the beautiful things about our lives and merely hang on to the ideas of what things should be so that if and when they start to change, we immediately associate them with unhappiness and failure.
Be happy now. In this very moment, where ever you are and no matter what you're doing, be present. Slip off your shoes and feel how much support you have with your tiny bare feet. She is on your side. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparisons will destroy your spirit and they will ruin your days. Don't let the size of your pants determine your joy because after all, their primary purpose is to cover your ass and an ass is just an ass, not a scale of happiness. There is no doubt in my mind that there is something that happened to you today that you can be grateful for. Breathe this in to its entirety and allow it to make you present and positive. I am on a broken boat with soggy sandwiches but I am alive.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful for mansions and skinny jeans but I'm also happy to state that they will not perfect your life. Passing a class or getting a promotion won't either. The freedom from hate, worry, regret, and wealth, however, will. Settle yourself into the beauty of today. It is magical and ripe with one million chances of possibility.