tuesday thoughts.

Feeling distracted by sunsets and the constant movement of my son inside of my belly, I’ve struggled piecing together any words inside of my head into sensible, formal sentences.  In spite, my distractions have left me thinking extremely hard about life and if there really is a way to have a perfect one? 

In the midst of change, we often find ourselves hopeful for routine. When bills are due, we probably want something more expensive than we can afford.  Smack dab in the middle of a Tuesday, we pray for Friday.  In loneliness, we seek friendships. In insecurity we need acceptance.  And even those tiny moments where everything might in fact actually feel perfect, we still want more. 

I write to you as a 26 year old.  I have a college degree and a job that pertains nothing to it.  I am a freelance business owner who relies heavily on my faith to succeed.  I haven’t traveled the world.  I am not rich.  I have done well at many things and failed miserably at even more of them.  I have hurt people and I have been hurt.  And I haven’t experienced enough in my life to even equate to what a perfect one may entail.  But having lived this life, my life, I will tell you that being perfect is irrelevant to anything you will ever experience.  I say this to you as the inexperienced woman I described above, as little or naive as she is, she might actually have a point. 

When perfection sneaks into your days, your office, your diary and words, please step away softly.  As much as you feel the need to do more, see more, be more, sometimes the bravest thing to do is to become fully aware that imperfections are, without a doubt, what make you beautiful, strong, human.  They make you whole.  I was walking this evening thinking about all of this.  I thought about how little I’ve accomplished yet how busy I always seem to be.  I thought about my growing body, the savings account that I do not have, and I wondered how in the world I can be 26 years old and still be unsure of my path in this life.  I smiled.  I am happy.  I am healthy.  I am alive and real and this is all just enough. 

I told the babe inside my belly the first piece of mama advice of his life.  Make mistakes little one. Your life, and who you are, depends on them.